Naughty Dogs

The first question most people ask when they find out I'm a dog groomer is usually, "Have you ever been bitten?" Actually, I get bitten on a pretty regular basis, but most of the bites are not intended to hurt and don't break the skin. What you REALLY need to watch out for are toenails. I have several scars on each hand, and almost all of them are from toenails rather than teeth (I think one scar might have been from a cat bite, but I don't remember).

There are many different things a dog can do that can land him in the "naughty" category for a groomer. Some things bother some groomers more than others. For example, lazy dogs make me absolutely insane, but they don't bother other groomers as much. Some groomers don't do well with nervous dogs, and they don't bother me a whole lot.

So here is a list of things dogs can do to make our lives difficult. This is not intended to be a comprehensive list; it is simply to give you an idea of what we have to deal with on a regular basis.

1. Be lazy. It's one thing to hold up the butt of a five-pound Yorkie while grooming its rear, it's a whole other story to try to heft up a ninety-pound Golden to do the same. Some groomers can do a lot with a dog sitting, but I prefer to have them stand the entire groom, if possible. At least be able to stand when I need you to. Old dogs and dogs with joint problems are exempt from this. If a dog can't stand, that is frustrating, but it is significantly more frustrating if a young, healthy dog just plain refuses to stand up.

2. Wiggle. This is more like fidgeting; they aren't fighting for anything in particular, they just won't hold still for anything. They're just too antsy to sit still and they want to see everything that happens everywhere, like they're afraid life is passing them by while they are getting groomed.

3. Fight. This is mostly things like pulling away your foot when I am trying to cut your toenails or whipping your face from side to side when I'm trying to trim around your eyes. Not just frustrating but dangerous. We groomers always worry about dislocating a shoulder or cutting an eye.

4. Scratch. This is mostly an extension of fighting. This happens mostly during the blow drying and using clippers near a puppy's face. Oh, and during nail trimming. These are not the only times when dogs scratch, but they are certainly the most frequent. With the blow dryer, they are trying to climb your arm like a tree. With the clippers, they are trying to shove your hand away. And during nail trimming...that is how I got my worst scratches. I was holding the head of a dog that was trying to bite another groomer while he cut her toenails. She was so desperate to escape my grip that she latched onto my hands and yanked down with all her might, just as a cat on a greased light pole might do.

5. Bite. This encompasses everything from puppy nibbles to warning bites to dangerous bites. Puppies bite a lot while they are testing their boundaries. It is important to firmly tell them no and not allow it. If you encourage puppy nibbles because you think they are cute and fun, this will eventually turn into real biting. Warning bites can be everything from biting right next to you while intentionally missing (sometimes close enough that you can feel their lips) to actually biting without using enough strength to cause damage. I have one little Shih Tzu mix rescue dog that does that to me at least once every time I groom her. Sometimes, unfortunately, there are those more serious bites. I have never been bitten badly enough by a dog to need a doctor (though I was bitten by cats twice, and for those you should always go to the doctor and get antibiotics), but I have seen my fair share of bad bites. Any dog that is scared enough can bite to cause damage. Unfortunately, in my line of work, it tends to be faces and hands that get bitten. And you can't assume it's the "scary" breeds like Pit Bulls, Chows, and German Shepherds that always bite. On the contrary, it tends to be the smaller ones. I used to work with a groomer who had been sent to the hospital from more Chihuahua bites than any other breed.

6. Be afraid or nervous. This tends to cause the previous behaviors, but it can also cause nervous shaking, clenching into a ball, or vocalize.

7. Barking, crying, yelping. This can range from just plain irritating to downright horrifying depending on the circumstances. Older dogs tend to cry more than younger ones. Some dogs will scream their heads off when you cut their nails, which can cause you to jump and think you've cut the nail too short.

Other groomers: I'm pretty sure I'm forgetting things, feel free to comment!